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At Least KFC's Colonel Sanders Is Gay-Friendly

At Least KFC's Colonel Sanders Is Gay-Friendly


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Here is John Goodman as KFC's Colonel Sanders for Funny or Die

Of course in the midst of a Chick-fil-A anti-gay marriage controversy, Funny or Die has released a video featuring John Goodman as KFC's Colonel Sanders. And while "Colonel Sanders" admits that he's a "good old-fashioned" soul, the Colonel goes about selling his chain as incredibly gay-friendly. "Let it be known that Colonel Sanders loves the gays... hell, I may even be gay," he says.

Watch below as the Colonel watches plenty of young men frolicking around and eating his fried chicken, as he listens to his favorite Bette Midler album. "I love all gay people always... and we're open on Sunday," he says.

In the meantime, he makes jabs at Chick-fil-A for their corporate anti-gay donations. As for himself? "Hell, I prefer to see the world the way my hormone-loaded antibiotically engineered chicken do," he says. "Without gender." No word on whether the actual chain KFC has a stance on the issue.


At Least KFC's Colonel Sanders Is Gay-Friendly - Recipes

Mario Lopez and Justine Alpert star in Lifetime’s “A Recipe for Seduction,” a love story surrounding KFC’s Colonel Sanders.
Photo Credit: Lifetime

What I&rsquom Watching: an unlikely suitor trying his hand &ndash but failing miserably &ndash at a Christmas love story.

On Lifetime/YouTube: &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction&rdquo

What on earth did I just watch?

Of course, I&rsquom not speechless for long. My instant reaction that I shared with my coworkers after watching Lifetime&rsquos new original mini&ndashmovie, &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo which is a collaboration with KFC (yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken,) was, &ldquoIf there is one piece of advice I could pass on to the younger generation, it would be to not watch this movie.&rdquo

Standard disclaimer: I am the biggest proponent for hokey Christmas love stories. There is nothing I enjoy more than a predictable, Hallmark-style holiday movie where two unsuspecting people have a meet-cute, fall in love absurdly fast, something happens that separates the two and makes them briefly dislike one another, and ends in engagement &ndash or better yet &ndash a wedding. These types of films are my kryptonite. This is my cross to bear.

With that said . I simply cannot get behind &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction.&rdquo

The short film premiered on Lifetime on Dec. 13, and was the subject of much discussion, as the film follows the love story of Colonel Harland Sanders (Mario Lopez) as he falls for newly-broke and freshly proposed to by another man Jessica Mancera (Justine Alpert). Following its premiere on Lifetime, the 15-minute mini movie was released to YouTube on KFC&rsquos page.

If readers truly feel like wasting 15 minutes of their lives and watching the movie, stop reading this review now, as I will be spoiling the entirety of the film. Come back after you&rsquove watched it, and I can almost guarantee that you won&rsquot disagree with my synopsis.

The film starts showing a gorgeous, mansion-style home complete with a fountain. We then pan into a dining room, complete with floor to ceiling stained glass windows, a stunning gold and crystal chandelier, a dining room table adorned with stately champagne flutes, gold plated china dishes, bottles of expensive wine and. a gold bowl filled with fried chicken.

Billy Garibaldi III (Chad Doreck) reveals himself to be Jessica&rsquos boyfriend, and at the dinner surrounded by her mother and her best friend Lee (Martin Mandela), Billy proposes. Instantly we can tell Jessica is uncomfortable with this. She notes that she&rsquos &ldquospeechless,&rdquo and asks Billy why he is putting her on the spot. She explains she needs time to think, and runs off from the dinner.

Presumably the next day, Jessica &ndash looking confused and defeated &ndash goes to chat with her mother Bunny (Tessa Munro). She explains that she does not want to marry Billy, however Bunny explains that Jessica &ldquohas to&rdquo marry Billy because the family has no money. Jessica&rsquos late father left them with nothing but bills, and they will lose their house in a month if she doesn&rsquot marry Billy and get his family money.

This is where I started to get really annoyed, because at the dinner the night prior, Bunny explained to everyone that the delicious fried chicken was the work of their &ldquonew chef,&rdquo which turns out to be &ndash you guessed it &ndash Colonel Harland Sanders. You&rsquore telling me that you&rsquore completely broke, but you hired a new live-in chef? Okay.

The most remarkable part about this mini movie is that it is less than 15 minutes long &ndash thank goodness &ndash because a minute more and I don&rsquot think I could&rsquove taken it. With that said, considering the film is only 15 minutes, this love story is expedited which makes it even more ridiculous than a love story about Colonel Sanders would normally be.

I think what sets me off the most is that in typical love story holiday films, we can see the characters falling in love. They&rsquore usually shown on a series of dates, or we can see them interacting in multiple scenarios where we see the pair have a connection. In &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo Jessica and Colonel Harland Sanders first lock eyes when Harland comes to share a menu with Bunny. The two have the most awkward eye contact I&rsquove ever seen &ndash which is supposed to portray love at first sight &ndash but just comes off strange and uncomfortable.

In the next scene, Jessica seeks out Harland and offers him a tour of the property, which Bunny disapprovingly watches from afar. On their short walk around the property, Jessica is sharing her confusion about her proposal to Billy with Harland. She realizes she&rsquos been dominating the conversation, so she asks Harland about himself. He responds that he doesn&rsquot have much to share, but he has a &ldquosecret recipe that&rsquos going to change the world.&rdquo That&rsquos the power of KFC, y&rsquoall. Changing the world, one drumstick at a time.

Billy shows up to the property and interrupts Jessica and Harland&rsquos chat by aggressively grabbing Jessica&rsquos arm and complaining that not only did she not accept his proposal, but now she was ignoring his calls. Harland interjects in an attempt to protect Jessica, and Billy calls Harland &ldquocrouton.&rdquo

The big line of the movie for Colonel Harland Sanders?

The movie continues on and essentially after Bunny overhears her daughter speaking with Lee &ndash sharing that she has fallen in love with the new chef &ndash Bunny takes matters into her own hands and seeks out Billy. Bunny shares with scorned Billy that she overheard Jessica is falling for Harland. Billy laughs in an over dramatic, terrible acting way. We then find out that evidently, Bunny and Billy had a &ldquolong weekend in the Vineyard&rdquo together, and she promises Billy that if he marries Jessica, there will be &ldquomore long weekends&rdquo for the two to spend with each other.

Oh, come on! Just when I thought it couldn&rsquot get worse, mom is sleeping with her daughter's boyfriend.

Unaware, Bunny does not realize that Lee was witness to her uncomfortable&ndashfor&ndashviewers conversation with Billy. Lee comes to tell Jessica of her mom's affair, at the same time, Billy finds Harland&rsquos secret chicken recipe and attempts to pay off Harland to disappear for $500,000. Bunny whacks Lee over the head with a broom and traps him somewhere to prevent him from sharing the secret.

Later, Jessica explains to Harland that she&rsquos in love with him &ndash despite the fact that it&rsquos been about 24 hours since they met &ndash and the two kiss. Bunny is witness to this intimate moment, and immediately calls Billy to tell him they &ldquohave a problem.&rdquo

The next day, Jessica tries to share with her mother that she&rsquos decided she will not marry Billy as she is in love with Harland. Bunny explains that Harland &ldquoleft the night before in a hurry.&rdquo Jessica decides to go on a walk outside, and while she&rsquos gazing into the abyss looking forlorn, she overhears muffled screaming. What do you know &ndash it&rsquos Harland trapped in a basement-like room with tape over his mouth tied to a chair.

As I&rsquom sure you&rsquove guessed because this movie leaves nothing to the imagination, it was Billy and Bunny who captured Harland. Billy paces the room with a knife while Jessica watches on, doing seemingly nothing but is still terrified nonetheless. Bunny runs in and tells Billy to kill Harland, but Lee pops out of nowhere and whacks Billy over the head with the same broom that Bunny whacked him over the head with the day before.

Bunny gets knocked into a shelf.

Harland and Jessica reunite.

They get married one year later.

The movie ends on Bunny in &ldquoSerenity Falls Health and Wellness Center,&rdquo which appears to be an insane asylum. Billy comes to visit her. He&rsquos eating fried chicken.

We&rsquore left on a cliffhanger: &ldquoWell?&rdquo Bunny says to Billy. He responds, &ldquoI found them.&rdquo

I can&rsquot believe that I wrote a two-page synopsis about a 15-minute Lifetime movie that involved KFC. This is time that I can never get back.

Here are some worth-it (at least to me) holiday love stories to watch:

On Netflix:
&bull &ldquoDash & Lily&rdquo
&bull &ldquoHoliday in the Wild&rdquo
&bull &ldquoOperation Christmas Drop&rdquo
&bull &ldquoChristmas with a View&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby&rdquo


At Least KFC's Colonel Sanders Is Gay-Friendly - Recipes

Mario Lopez and Justine Alpert star in Lifetime’s “A Recipe for Seduction,” a love story surrounding KFC’s Colonel Sanders.
Photo Credit: Lifetime

What I&rsquom Watching: an unlikely suitor trying his hand &ndash but failing miserably &ndash at a Christmas love story.

On Lifetime/YouTube: &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction&rdquo

What on earth did I just watch?

Of course, I&rsquom not speechless for long. My instant reaction that I shared with my coworkers after watching Lifetime&rsquos new original mini&ndashmovie, &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo which is a collaboration with KFC (yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken,) was, &ldquoIf there is one piece of advice I could pass on to the younger generation, it would be to not watch this movie.&rdquo

Standard disclaimer: I am the biggest proponent for hokey Christmas love stories. There is nothing I enjoy more than a predictable, Hallmark-style holiday movie where two unsuspecting people have a meet-cute, fall in love absurdly fast, something happens that separates the two and makes them briefly dislike one another, and ends in engagement &ndash or better yet &ndash a wedding. These types of films are my kryptonite. This is my cross to bear.

With that said . I simply cannot get behind &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction.&rdquo

The short film premiered on Lifetime on Dec. 13, and was the subject of much discussion, as the film follows the love story of Colonel Harland Sanders (Mario Lopez) as he falls for newly-broke and freshly proposed to by another man Jessica Mancera (Justine Alpert). Following its premiere on Lifetime, the 15-minute mini movie was released to YouTube on KFC&rsquos page.

If readers truly feel like wasting 15 minutes of their lives and watching the movie, stop reading this review now, as I will be spoiling the entirety of the film. Come back after you&rsquove watched it, and I can almost guarantee that you won&rsquot disagree with my synopsis.

The film starts showing a gorgeous, mansion-style home complete with a fountain. We then pan into a dining room, complete with floor to ceiling stained glass windows, a stunning gold and crystal chandelier, a dining room table adorned with stately champagne flutes, gold plated china dishes, bottles of expensive wine and. a gold bowl filled with fried chicken.

Billy Garibaldi III (Chad Doreck) reveals himself to be Jessica&rsquos boyfriend, and at the dinner surrounded by her mother and her best friend Lee (Martin Mandela), Billy proposes. Instantly we can tell Jessica is uncomfortable with this. She notes that she&rsquos &ldquospeechless,&rdquo and asks Billy why he is putting her on the spot. She explains she needs time to think, and runs off from the dinner.

Presumably the next day, Jessica &ndash looking confused and defeated &ndash goes to chat with her mother Bunny (Tessa Munro). She explains that she does not want to marry Billy, however Bunny explains that Jessica &ldquohas to&rdquo marry Billy because the family has no money. Jessica&rsquos late father left them with nothing but bills, and they will lose their house in a month if she doesn&rsquot marry Billy and get his family money.

This is where I started to get really annoyed, because at the dinner the night prior, Bunny explained to everyone that the delicious fried chicken was the work of their &ldquonew chef,&rdquo which turns out to be &ndash you guessed it &ndash Colonel Harland Sanders. You&rsquore telling me that you&rsquore completely broke, but you hired a new live-in chef? Okay.

The most remarkable part about this mini movie is that it is less than 15 minutes long &ndash thank goodness &ndash because a minute more and I don&rsquot think I could&rsquove taken it. With that said, considering the film is only 15 minutes, this love story is expedited which makes it even more ridiculous than a love story about Colonel Sanders would normally be.

I think what sets me off the most is that in typical love story holiday films, we can see the characters falling in love. They&rsquore usually shown on a series of dates, or we can see them interacting in multiple scenarios where we see the pair have a connection. In &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo Jessica and Colonel Harland Sanders first lock eyes when Harland comes to share a menu with Bunny. The two have the most awkward eye contact I&rsquove ever seen &ndash which is supposed to portray love at first sight &ndash but just comes off strange and uncomfortable.

In the next scene, Jessica seeks out Harland and offers him a tour of the property, which Bunny disapprovingly watches from afar. On their short walk around the property, Jessica is sharing her confusion about her proposal to Billy with Harland. She realizes she&rsquos been dominating the conversation, so she asks Harland about himself. He responds that he doesn&rsquot have much to share, but he has a &ldquosecret recipe that&rsquos going to change the world.&rdquo That&rsquos the power of KFC, y&rsquoall. Changing the world, one drumstick at a time.

Billy shows up to the property and interrupts Jessica and Harland&rsquos chat by aggressively grabbing Jessica&rsquos arm and complaining that not only did she not accept his proposal, but now she was ignoring his calls. Harland interjects in an attempt to protect Jessica, and Billy calls Harland &ldquocrouton.&rdquo

The big line of the movie for Colonel Harland Sanders?

The movie continues on and essentially after Bunny overhears her daughter speaking with Lee &ndash sharing that she has fallen in love with the new chef &ndash Bunny takes matters into her own hands and seeks out Billy. Bunny shares with scorned Billy that she overheard Jessica is falling for Harland. Billy laughs in an over dramatic, terrible acting way. We then find out that evidently, Bunny and Billy had a &ldquolong weekend in the Vineyard&rdquo together, and she promises Billy that if he marries Jessica, there will be &ldquomore long weekends&rdquo for the two to spend with each other.

Oh, come on! Just when I thought it couldn&rsquot get worse, mom is sleeping with her daughter's boyfriend.

Unaware, Bunny does not realize that Lee was witness to her uncomfortable&ndashfor&ndashviewers conversation with Billy. Lee comes to tell Jessica of her mom's affair, at the same time, Billy finds Harland&rsquos secret chicken recipe and attempts to pay off Harland to disappear for $500,000. Bunny whacks Lee over the head with a broom and traps him somewhere to prevent him from sharing the secret.

Later, Jessica explains to Harland that she&rsquos in love with him &ndash despite the fact that it&rsquos been about 24 hours since they met &ndash and the two kiss. Bunny is witness to this intimate moment, and immediately calls Billy to tell him they &ldquohave a problem.&rdquo

The next day, Jessica tries to share with her mother that she&rsquos decided she will not marry Billy as she is in love with Harland. Bunny explains that Harland &ldquoleft the night before in a hurry.&rdquo Jessica decides to go on a walk outside, and while she&rsquos gazing into the abyss looking forlorn, she overhears muffled screaming. What do you know &ndash it&rsquos Harland trapped in a basement-like room with tape over his mouth tied to a chair.

As I&rsquom sure you&rsquove guessed because this movie leaves nothing to the imagination, it was Billy and Bunny who captured Harland. Billy paces the room with a knife while Jessica watches on, doing seemingly nothing but is still terrified nonetheless. Bunny runs in and tells Billy to kill Harland, but Lee pops out of nowhere and whacks Billy over the head with the same broom that Bunny whacked him over the head with the day before.

Bunny gets knocked into a shelf.

Harland and Jessica reunite.

They get married one year later.

The movie ends on Bunny in &ldquoSerenity Falls Health and Wellness Center,&rdquo which appears to be an insane asylum. Billy comes to visit her. He&rsquos eating fried chicken.

We&rsquore left on a cliffhanger: &ldquoWell?&rdquo Bunny says to Billy. He responds, &ldquoI found them.&rdquo

I can&rsquot believe that I wrote a two-page synopsis about a 15-minute Lifetime movie that involved KFC. This is time that I can never get back.

Here are some worth-it (at least to me) holiday love stories to watch:

On Netflix:
&bull &ldquoDash & Lily&rdquo
&bull &ldquoHoliday in the Wild&rdquo
&bull &ldquoOperation Christmas Drop&rdquo
&bull &ldquoChristmas with a View&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby&rdquo


At Least KFC's Colonel Sanders Is Gay-Friendly - Recipes

Mario Lopez and Justine Alpert star in Lifetime’s “A Recipe for Seduction,” a love story surrounding KFC’s Colonel Sanders.
Photo Credit: Lifetime

What I&rsquom Watching: an unlikely suitor trying his hand &ndash but failing miserably &ndash at a Christmas love story.

On Lifetime/YouTube: &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction&rdquo

What on earth did I just watch?

Of course, I&rsquom not speechless for long. My instant reaction that I shared with my coworkers after watching Lifetime&rsquos new original mini&ndashmovie, &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo which is a collaboration with KFC (yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken,) was, &ldquoIf there is one piece of advice I could pass on to the younger generation, it would be to not watch this movie.&rdquo

Standard disclaimer: I am the biggest proponent for hokey Christmas love stories. There is nothing I enjoy more than a predictable, Hallmark-style holiday movie where two unsuspecting people have a meet-cute, fall in love absurdly fast, something happens that separates the two and makes them briefly dislike one another, and ends in engagement &ndash or better yet &ndash a wedding. These types of films are my kryptonite. This is my cross to bear.

With that said . I simply cannot get behind &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction.&rdquo

The short film premiered on Lifetime on Dec. 13, and was the subject of much discussion, as the film follows the love story of Colonel Harland Sanders (Mario Lopez) as he falls for newly-broke and freshly proposed to by another man Jessica Mancera (Justine Alpert). Following its premiere on Lifetime, the 15-minute mini movie was released to YouTube on KFC&rsquos page.

If readers truly feel like wasting 15 minutes of their lives and watching the movie, stop reading this review now, as I will be spoiling the entirety of the film. Come back after you&rsquove watched it, and I can almost guarantee that you won&rsquot disagree with my synopsis.

The film starts showing a gorgeous, mansion-style home complete with a fountain. We then pan into a dining room, complete with floor to ceiling stained glass windows, a stunning gold and crystal chandelier, a dining room table adorned with stately champagne flutes, gold plated china dishes, bottles of expensive wine and. a gold bowl filled with fried chicken.

Billy Garibaldi III (Chad Doreck) reveals himself to be Jessica&rsquos boyfriend, and at the dinner surrounded by her mother and her best friend Lee (Martin Mandela), Billy proposes. Instantly we can tell Jessica is uncomfortable with this. She notes that she&rsquos &ldquospeechless,&rdquo and asks Billy why he is putting her on the spot. She explains she needs time to think, and runs off from the dinner.

Presumably the next day, Jessica &ndash looking confused and defeated &ndash goes to chat with her mother Bunny (Tessa Munro). She explains that she does not want to marry Billy, however Bunny explains that Jessica &ldquohas to&rdquo marry Billy because the family has no money. Jessica&rsquos late father left them with nothing but bills, and they will lose their house in a month if she doesn&rsquot marry Billy and get his family money.

This is where I started to get really annoyed, because at the dinner the night prior, Bunny explained to everyone that the delicious fried chicken was the work of their &ldquonew chef,&rdquo which turns out to be &ndash you guessed it &ndash Colonel Harland Sanders. You&rsquore telling me that you&rsquore completely broke, but you hired a new live-in chef? Okay.

The most remarkable part about this mini movie is that it is less than 15 minutes long &ndash thank goodness &ndash because a minute more and I don&rsquot think I could&rsquove taken it. With that said, considering the film is only 15 minutes, this love story is expedited which makes it even more ridiculous than a love story about Colonel Sanders would normally be.

I think what sets me off the most is that in typical love story holiday films, we can see the characters falling in love. They&rsquore usually shown on a series of dates, or we can see them interacting in multiple scenarios where we see the pair have a connection. In &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo Jessica and Colonel Harland Sanders first lock eyes when Harland comes to share a menu with Bunny. The two have the most awkward eye contact I&rsquove ever seen &ndash which is supposed to portray love at first sight &ndash but just comes off strange and uncomfortable.

In the next scene, Jessica seeks out Harland and offers him a tour of the property, which Bunny disapprovingly watches from afar. On their short walk around the property, Jessica is sharing her confusion about her proposal to Billy with Harland. She realizes she&rsquos been dominating the conversation, so she asks Harland about himself. He responds that he doesn&rsquot have much to share, but he has a &ldquosecret recipe that&rsquos going to change the world.&rdquo That&rsquos the power of KFC, y&rsquoall. Changing the world, one drumstick at a time.

Billy shows up to the property and interrupts Jessica and Harland&rsquos chat by aggressively grabbing Jessica&rsquos arm and complaining that not only did she not accept his proposal, but now she was ignoring his calls. Harland interjects in an attempt to protect Jessica, and Billy calls Harland &ldquocrouton.&rdquo

The big line of the movie for Colonel Harland Sanders?

The movie continues on and essentially after Bunny overhears her daughter speaking with Lee &ndash sharing that she has fallen in love with the new chef &ndash Bunny takes matters into her own hands and seeks out Billy. Bunny shares with scorned Billy that she overheard Jessica is falling for Harland. Billy laughs in an over dramatic, terrible acting way. We then find out that evidently, Bunny and Billy had a &ldquolong weekend in the Vineyard&rdquo together, and she promises Billy that if he marries Jessica, there will be &ldquomore long weekends&rdquo for the two to spend with each other.

Oh, come on! Just when I thought it couldn&rsquot get worse, mom is sleeping with her daughter's boyfriend.

Unaware, Bunny does not realize that Lee was witness to her uncomfortable&ndashfor&ndashviewers conversation with Billy. Lee comes to tell Jessica of her mom's affair, at the same time, Billy finds Harland&rsquos secret chicken recipe and attempts to pay off Harland to disappear for $500,000. Bunny whacks Lee over the head with a broom and traps him somewhere to prevent him from sharing the secret.

Later, Jessica explains to Harland that she&rsquos in love with him &ndash despite the fact that it&rsquos been about 24 hours since they met &ndash and the two kiss. Bunny is witness to this intimate moment, and immediately calls Billy to tell him they &ldquohave a problem.&rdquo

The next day, Jessica tries to share with her mother that she&rsquos decided she will not marry Billy as she is in love with Harland. Bunny explains that Harland &ldquoleft the night before in a hurry.&rdquo Jessica decides to go on a walk outside, and while she&rsquos gazing into the abyss looking forlorn, she overhears muffled screaming. What do you know &ndash it&rsquos Harland trapped in a basement-like room with tape over his mouth tied to a chair.

As I&rsquom sure you&rsquove guessed because this movie leaves nothing to the imagination, it was Billy and Bunny who captured Harland. Billy paces the room with a knife while Jessica watches on, doing seemingly nothing but is still terrified nonetheless. Bunny runs in and tells Billy to kill Harland, but Lee pops out of nowhere and whacks Billy over the head with the same broom that Bunny whacked him over the head with the day before.

Bunny gets knocked into a shelf.

Harland and Jessica reunite.

They get married one year later.

The movie ends on Bunny in &ldquoSerenity Falls Health and Wellness Center,&rdquo which appears to be an insane asylum. Billy comes to visit her. He&rsquos eating fried chicken.

We&rsquore left on a cliffhanger: &ldquoWell?&rdquo Bunny says to Billy. He responds, &ldquoI found them.&rdquo

I can&rsquot believe that I wrote a two-page synopsis about a 15-minute Lifetime movie that involved KFC. This is time that I can never get back.

Here are some worth-it (at least to me) holiday love stories to watch:

On Netflix:
&bull &ldquoDash & Lily&rdquo
&bull &ldquoHoliday in the Wild&rdquo
&bull &ldquoOperation Christmas Drop&rdquo
&bull &ldquoChristmas with a View&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby&rdquo


At Least KFC's Colonel Sanders Is Gay-Friendly - Recipes

Mario Lopez and Justine Alpert star in Lifetime’s “A Recipe for Seduction,” a love story surrounding KFC’s Colonel Sanders.
Photo Credit: Lifetime

What I&rsquom Watching: an unlikely suitor trying his hand &ndash but failing miserably &ndash at a Christmas love story.

On Lifetime/YouTube: &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction&rdquo

What on earth did I just watch?

Of course, I&rsquom not speechless for long. My instant reaction that I shared with my coworkers after watching Lifetime&rsquos new original mini&ndashmovie, &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo which is a collaboration with KFC (yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken,) was, &ldquoIf there is one piece of advice I could pass on to the younger generation, it would be to not watch this movie.&rdquo

Standard disclaimer: I am the biggest proponent for hokey Christmas love stories. There is nothing I enjoy more than a predictable, Hallmark-style holiday movie where two unsuspecting people have a meet-cute, fall in love absurdly fast, something happens that separates the two and makes them briefly dislike one another, and ends in engagement &ndash or better yet &ndash a wedding. These types of films are my kryptonite. This is my cross to bear.

With that said . I simply cannot get behind &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction.&rdquo

The short film premiered on Lifetime on Dec. 13, and was the subject of much discussion, as the film follows the love story of Colonel Harland Sanders (Mario Lopez) as he falls for newly-broke and freshly proposed to by another man Jessica Mancera (Justine Alpert). Following its premiere on Lifetime, the 15-minute mini movie was released to YouTube on KFC&rsquos page.

If readers truly feel like wasting 15 minutes of their lives and watching the movie, stop reading this review now, as I will be spoiling the entirety of the film. Come back after you&rsquove watched it, and I can almost guarantee that you won&rsquot disagree with my synopsis.

The film starts showing a gorgeous, mansion-style home complete with a fountain. We then pan into a dining room, complete with floor to ceiling stained glass windows, a stunning gold and crystal chandelier, a dining room table adorned with stately champagne flutes, gold plated china dishes, bottles of expensive wine and. a gold bowl filled with fried chicken.

Billy Garibaldi III (Chad Doreck) reveals himself to be Jessica&rsquos boyfriend, and at the dinner surrounded by her mother and her best friend Lee (Martin Mandela), Billy proposes. Instantly we can tell Jessica is uncomfortable with this. She notes that she&rsquos &ldquospeechless,&rdquo and asks Billy why he is putting her on the spot. She explains she needs time to think, and runs off from the dinner.

Presumably the next day, Jessica &ndash looking confused and defeated &ndash goes to chat with her mother Bunny (Tessa Munro). She explains that she does not want to marry Billy, however Bunny explains that Jessica &ldquohas to&rdquo marry Billy because the family has no money. Jessica&rsquos late father left them with nothing but bills, and they will lose their house in a month if she doesn&rsquot marry Billy and get his family money.

This is where I started to get really annoyed, because at the dinner the night prior, Bunny explained to everyone that the delicious fried chicken was the work of their &ldquonew chef,&rdquo which turns out to be &ndash you guessed it &ndash Colonel Harland Sanders. You&rsquore telling me that you&rsquore completely broke, but you hired a new live-in chef? Okay.

The most remarkable part about this mini movie is that it is less than 15 minutes long &ndash thank goodness &ndash because a minute more and I don&rsquot think I could&rsquove taken it. With that said, considering the film is only 15 minutes, this love story is expedited which makes it even more ridiculous than a love story about Colonel Sanders would normally be.

I think what sets me off the most is that in typical love story holiday films, we can see the characters falling in love. They&rsquore usually shown on a series of dates, or we can see them interacting in multiple scenarios where we see the pair have a connection. In &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo Jessica and Colonel Harland Sanders first lock eyes when Harland comes to share a menu with Bunny. The two have the most awkward eye contact I&rsquove ever seen &ndash which is supposed to portray love at first sight &ndash but just comes off strange and uncomfortable.

In the next scene, Jessica seeks out Harland and offers him a tour of the property, which Bunny disapprovingly watches from afar. On their short walk around the property, Jessica is sharing her confusion about her proposal to Billy with Harland. She realizes she&rsquos been dominating the conversation, so she asks Harland about himself. He responds that he doesn&rsquot have much to share, but he has a &ldquosecret recipe that&rsquos going to change the world.&rdquo That&rsquos the power of KFC, y&rsquoall. Changing the world, one drumstick at a time.

Billy shows up to the property and interrupts Jessica and Harland&rsquos chat by aggressively grabbing Jessica&rsquos arm and complaining that not only did she not accept his proposal, but now she was ignoring his calls. Harland interjects in an attempt to protect Jessica, and Billy calls Harland &ldquocrouton.&rdquo

The big line of the movie for Colonel Harland Sanders?

The movie continues on and essentially after Bunny overhears her daughter speaking with Lee &ndash sharing that she has fallen in love with the new chef &ndash Bunny takes matters into her own hands and seeks out Billy. Bunny shares with scorned Billy that she overheard Jessica is falling for Harland. Billy laughs in an over dramatic, terrible acting way. We then find out that evidently, Bunny and Billy had a &ldquolong weekend in the Vineyard&rdquo together, and she promises Billy that if he marries Jessica, there will be &ldquomore long weekends&rdquo for the two to spend with each other.

Oh, come on! Just when I thought it couldn&rsquot get worse, mom is sleeping with her daughter's boyfriend.

Unaware, Bunny does not realize that Lee was witness to her uncomfortable&ndashfor&ndashviewers conversation with Billy. Lee comes to tell Jessica of her mom's affair, at the same time, Billy finds Harland&rsquos secret chicken recipe and attempts to pay off Harland to disappear for $500,000. Bunny whacks Lee over the head with a broom and traps him somewhere to prevent him from sharing the secret.

Later, Jessica explains to Harland that she&rsquos in love with him &ndash despite the fact that it&rsquos been about 24 hours since they met &ndash and the two kiss. Bunny is witness to this intimate moment, and immediately calls Billy to tell him they &ldquohave a problem.&rdquo

The next day, Jessica tries to share with her mother that she&rsquos decided she will not marry Billy as she is in love with Harland. Bunny explains that Harland &ldquoleft the night before in a hurry.&rdquo Jessica decides to go on a walk outside, and while she&rsquos gazing into the abyss looking forlorn, she overhears muffled screaming. What do you know &ndash it&rsquos Harland trapped in a basement-like room with tape over his mouth tied to a chair.

As I&rsquom sure you&rsquove guessed because this movie leaves nothing to the imagination, it was Billy and Bunny who captured Harland. Billy paces the room with a knife while Jessica watches on, doing seemingly nothing but is still terrified nonetheless. Bunny runs in and tells Billy to kill Harland, but Lee pops out of nowhere and whacks Billy over the head with the same broom that Bunny whacked him over the head with the day before.

Bunny gets knocked into a shelf.

Harland and Jessica reunite.

They get married one year later.

The movie ends on Bunny in &ldquoSerenity Falls Health and Wellness Center,&rdquo which appears to be an insane asylum. Billy comes to visit her. He&rsquos eating fried chicken.

We&rsquore left on a cliffhanger: &ldquoWell?&rdquo Bunny says to Billy. He responds, &ldquoI found them.&rdquo

I can&rsquot believe that I wrote a two-page synopsis about a 15-minute Lifetime movie that involved KFC. This is time that I can never get back.

Here are some worth-it (at least to me) holiday love stories to watch:

On Netflix:
&bull &ldquoDash & Lily&rdquo
&bull &ldquoHoliday in the Wild&rdquo
&bull &ldquoOperation Christmas Drop&rdquo
&bull &ldquoChristmas with a View&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby&rdquo


At Least KFC's Colonel Sanders Is Gay-Friendly - Recipes

Mario Lopez and Justine Alpert star in Lifetime’s “A Recipe for Seduction,” a love story surrounding KFC’s Colonel Sanders.
Photo Credit: Lifetime

What I&rsquom Watching: an unlikely suitor trying his hand &ndash but failing miserably &ndash at a Christmas love story.

On Lifetime/YouTube: &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction&rdquo

What on earth did I just watch?

Of course, I&rsquom not speechless for long. My instant reaction that I shared with my coworkers after watching Lifetime&rsquos new original mini&ndashmovie, &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo which is a collaboration with KFC (yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken,) was, &ldquoIf there is one piece of advice I could pass on to the younger generation, it would be to not watch this movie.&rdquo

Standard disclaimer: I am the biggest proponent for hokey Christmas love stories. There is nothing I enjoy more than a predictable, Hallmark-style holiday movie where two unsuspecting people have a meet-cute, fall in love absurdly fast, something happens that separates the two and makes them briefly dislike one another, and ends in engagement &ndash or better yet &ndash a wedding. These types of films are my kryptonite. This is my cross to bear.

With that said . I simply cannot get behind &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction.&rdquo

The short film premiered on Lifetime on Dec. 13, and was the subject of much discussion, as the film follows the love story of Colonel Harland Sanders (Mario Lopez) as he falls for newly-broke and freshly proposed to by another man Jessica Mancera (Justine Alpert). Following its premiere on Lifetime, the 15-minute mini movie was released to YouTube on KFC&rsquos page.

If readers truly feel like wasting 15 minutes of their lives and watching the movie, stop reading this review now, as I will be spoiling the entirety of the film. Come back after you&rsquove watched it, and I can almost guarantee that you won&rsquot disagree with my synopsis.

The film starts showing a gorgeous, mansion-style home complete with a fountain. We then pan into a dining room, complete with floor to ceiling stained glass windows, a stunning gold and crystal chandelier, a dining room table adorned with stately champagne flutes, gold plated china dishes, bottles of expensive wine and. a gold bowl filled with fried chicken.

Billy Garibaldi III (Chad Doreck) reveals himself to be Jessica&rsquos boyfriend, and at the dinner surrounded by her mother and her best friend Lee (Martin Mandela), Billy proposes. Instantly we can tell Jessica is uncomfortable with this. She notes that she&rsquos &ldquospeechless,&rdquo and asks Billy why he is putting her on the spot. She explains she needs time to think, and runs off from the dinner.

Presumably the next day, Jessica &ndash looking confused and defeated &ndash goes to chat with her mother Bunny (Tessa Munro). She explains that she does not want to marry Billy, however Bunny explains that Jessica &ldquohas to&rdquo marry Billy because the family has no money. Jessica&rsquos late father left them with nothing but bills, and they will lose their house in a month if she doesn&rsquot marry Billy and get his family money.

This is where I started to get really annoyed, because at the dinner the night prior, Bunny explained to everyone that the delicious fried chicken was the work of their &ldquonew chef,&rdquo which turns out to be &ndash you guessed it &ndash Colonel Harland Sanders. You&rsquore telling me that you&rsquore completely broke, but you hired a new live-in chef? Okay.

The most remarkable part about this mini movie is that it is less than 15 minutes long &ndash thank goodness &ndash because a minute more and I don&rsquot think I could&rsquove taken it. With that said, considering the film is only 15 minutes, this love story is expedited which makes it even more ridiculous than a love story about Colonel Sanders would normally be.

I think what sets me off the most is that in typical love story holiday films, we can see the characters falling in love. They&rsquore usually shown on a series of dates, or we can see them interacting in multiple scenarios where we see the pair have a connection. In &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo Jessica and Colonel Harland Sanders first lock eyes when Harland comes to share a menu with Bunny. The two have the most awkward eye contact I&rsquove ever seen &ndash which is supposed to portray love at first sight &ndash but just comes off strange and uncomfortable.

In the next scene, Jessica seeks out Harland and offers him a tour of the property, which Bunny disapprovingly watches from afar. On their short walk around the property, Jessica is sharing her confusion about her proposal to Billy with Harland. She realizes she&rsquos been dominating the conversation, so she asks Harland about himself. He responds that he doesn&rsquot have much to share, but he has a &ldquosecret recipe that&rsquos going to change the world.&rdquo That&rsquos the power of KFC, y&rsquoall. Changing the world, one drumstick at a time.

Billy shows up to the property and interrupts Jessica and Harland&rsquos chat by aggressively grabbing Jessica&rsquos arm and complaining that not only did she not accept his proposal, but now she was ignoring his calls. Harland interjects in an attempt to protect Jessica, and Billy calls Harland &ldquocrouton.&rdquo

The big line of the movie for Colonel Harland Sanders?

The movie continues on and essentially after Bunny overhears her daughter speaking with Lee &ndash sharing that she has fallen in love with the new chef &ndash Bunny takes matters into her own hands and seeks out Billy. Bunny shares with scorned Billy that she overheard Jessica is falling for Harland. Billy laughs in an over dramatic, terrible acting way. We then find out that evidently, Bunny and Billy had a &ldquolong weekend in the Vineyard&rdquo together, and she promises Billy that if he marries Jessica, there will be &ldquomore long weekends&rdquo for the two to spend with each other.

Oh, come on! Just when I thought it couldn&rsquot get worse, mom is sleeping with her daughter's boyfriend.

Unaware, Bunny does not realize that Lee was witness to her uncomfortable&ndashfor&ndashviewers conversation with Billy. Lee comes to tell Jessica of her mom's affair, at the same time, Billy finds Harland&rsquos secret chicken recipe and attempts to pay off Harland to disappear for $500,000. Bunny whacks Lee over the head with a broom and traps him somewhere to prevent him from sharing the secret.

Later, Jessica explains to Harland that she&rsquos in love with him &ndash despite the fact that it&rsquos been about 24 hours since they met &ndash and the two kiss. Bunny is witness to this intimate moment, and immediately calls Billy to tell him they &ldquohave a problem.&rdquo

The next day, Jessica tries to share with her mother that she&rsquos decided she will not marry Billy as she is in love with Harland. Bunny explains that Harland &ldquoleft the night before in a hurry.&rdquo Jessica decides to go on a walk outside, and while she&rsquos gazing into the abyss looking forlorn, she overhears muffled screaming. What do you know &ndash it&rsquos Harland trapped in a basement-like room with tape over his mouth tied to a chair.

As I&rsquom sure you&rsquove guessed because this movie leaves nothing to the imagination, it was Billy and Bunny who captured Harland. Billy paces the room with a knife while Jessica watches on, doing seemingly nothing but is still terrified nonetheless. Bunny runs in and tells Billy to kill Harland, but Lee pops out of nowhere and whacks Billy over the head with the same broom that Bunny whacked him over the head with the day before.

Bunny gets knocked into a shelf.

Harland and Jessica reunite.

They get married one year later.

The movie ends on Bunny in &ldquoSerenity Falls Health and Wellness Center,&rdquo which appears to be an insane asylum. Billy comes to visit her. He&rsquos eating fried chicken.

We&rsquore left on a cliffhanger: &ldquoWell?&rdquo Bunny says to Billy. He responds, &ldquoI found them.&rdquo

I can&rsquot believe that I wrote a two-page synopsis about a 15-minute Lifetime movie that involved KFC. This is time that I can never get back.

Here are some worth-it (at least to me) holiday love stories to watch:

On Netflix:
&bull &ldquoDash & Lily&rdquo
&bull &ldquoHoliday in the Wild&rdquo
&bull &ldquoOperation Christmas Drop&rdquo
&bull &ldquoChristmas with a View&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby&rdquo


At Least KFC's Colonel Sanders Is Gay-Friendly - Recipes

Mario Lopez and Justine Alpert star in Lifetime’s “A Recipe for Seduction,” a love story surrounding KFC’s Colonel Sanders.
Photo Credit: Lifetime

What I&rsquom Watching: an unlikely suitor trying his hand &ndash but failing miserably &ndash at a Christmas love story.

On Lifetime/YouTube: &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction&rdquo

What on earth did I just watch?

Of course, I&rsquom not speechless for long. My instant reaction that I shared with my coworkers after watching Lifetime&rsquos new original mini&ndashmovie, &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo which is a collaboration with KFC (yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken,) was, &ldquoIf there is one piece of advice I could pass on to the younger generation, it would be to not watch this movie.&rdquo

Standard disclaimer: I am the biggest proponent for hokey Christmas love stories. There is nothing I enjoy more than a predictable, Hallmark-style holiday movie where two unsuspecting people have a meet-cute, fall in love absurdly fast, something happens that separates the two and makes them briefly dislike one another, and ends in engagement &ndash or better yet &ndash a wedding. These types of films are my kryptonite. This is my cross to bear.

With that said . I simply cannot get behind &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction.&rdquo

The short film premiered on Lifetime on Dec. 13, and was the subject of much discussion, as the film follows the love story of Colonel Harland Sanders (Mario Lopez) as he falls for newly-broke and freshly proposed to by another man Jessica Mancera (Justine Alpert). Following its premiere on Lifetime, the 15-minute mini movie was released to YouTube on KFC&rsquos page.

If readers truly feel like wasting 15 minutes of their lives and watching the movie, stop reading this review now, as I will be spoiling the entirety of the film. Come back after you&rsquove watched it, and I can almost guarantee that you won&rsquot disagree with my synopsis.

The film starts showing a gorgeous, mansion-style home complete with a fountain. We then pan into a dining room, complete with floor to ceiling stained glass windows, a stunning gold and crystal chandelier, a dining room table adorned with stately champagne flutes, gold plated china dishes, bottles of expensive wine and. a gold bowl filled with fried chicken.

Billy Garibaldi III (Chad Doreck) reveals himself to be Jessica&rsquos boyfriend, and at the dinner surrounded by her mother and her best friend Lee (Martin Mandela), Billy proposes. Instantly we can tell Jessica is uncomfortable with this. She notes that she&rsquos &ldquospeechless,&rdquo and asks Billy why he is putting her on the spot. She explains she needs time to think, and runs off from the dinner.

Presumably the next day, Jessica &ndash looking confused and defeated &ndash goes to chat with her mother Bunny (Tessa Munro). She explains that she does not want to marry Billy, however Bunny explains that Jessica &ldquohas to&rdquo marry Billy because the family has no money. Jessica&rsquos late father left them with nothing but bills, and they will lose their house in a month if she doesn&rsquot marry Billy and get his family money.

This is where I started to get really annoyed, because at the dinner the night prior, Bunny explained to everyone that the delicious fried chicken was the work of their &ldquonew chef,&rdquo which turns out to be &ndash you guessed it &ndash Colonel Harland Sanders. You&rsquore telling me that you&rsquore completely broke, but you hired a new live-in chef? Okay.

The most remarkable part about this mini movie is that it is less than 15 minutes long &ndash thank goodness &ndash because a minute more and I don&rsquot think I could&rsquove taken it. With that said, considering the film is only 15 minutes, this love story is expedited which makes it even more ridiculous than a love story about Colonel Sanders would normally be.

I think what sets me off the most is that in typical love story holiday films, we can see the characters falling in love. They&rsquore usually shown on a series of dates, or we can see them interacting in multiple scenarios where we see the pair have a connection. In &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo Jessica and Colonel Harland Sanders first lock eyes when Harland comes to share a menu with Bunny. The two have the most awkward eye contact I&rsquove ever seen &ndash which is supposed to portray love at first sight &ndash but just comes off strange and uncomfortable.

In the next scene, Jessica seeks out Harland and offers him a tour of the property, which Bunny disapprovingly watches from afar. On their short walk around the property, Jessica is sharing her confusion about her proposal to Billy with Harland. She realizes she&rsquos been dominating the conversation, so she asks Harland about himself. He responds that he doesn&rsquot have much to share, but he has a &ldquosecret recipe that&rsquos going to change the world.&rdquo That&rsquos the power of KFC, y&rsquoall. Changing the world, one drumstick at a time.

Billy shows up to the property and interrupts Jessica and Harland&rsquos chat by aggressively grabbing Jessica&rsquos arm and complaining that not only did she not accept his proposal, but now she was ignoring his calls. Harland interjects in an attempt to protect Jessica, and Billy calls Harland &ldquocrouton.&rdquo

The big line of the movie for Colonel Harland Sanders?

The movie continues on and essentially after Bunny overhears her daughter speaking with Lee &ndash sharing that she has fallen in love with the new chef &ndash Bunny takes matters into her own hands and seeks out Billy. Bunny shares with scorned Billy that she overheard Jessica is falling for Harland. Billy laughs in an over dramatic, terrible acting way. We then find out that evidently, Bunny and Billy had a &ldquolong weekend in the Vineyard&rdquo together, and she promises Billy that if he marries Jessica, there will be &ldquomore long weekends&rdquo for the two to spend with each other.

Oh, come on! Just when I thought it couldn&rsquot get worse, mom is sleeping with her daughter's boyfriend.

Unaware, Bunny does not realize that Lee was witness to her uncomfortable&ndashfor&ndashviewers conversation with Billy. Lee comes to tell Jessica of her mom's affair, at the same time, Billy finds Harland&rsquos secret chicken recipe and attempts to pay off Harland to disappear for $500,000. Bunny whacks Lee over the head with a broom and traps him somewhere to prevent him from sharing the secret.

Later, Jessica explains to Harland that she&rsquos in love with him &ndash despite the fact that it&rsquos been about 24 hours since they met &ndash and the two kiss. Bunny is witness to this intimate moment, and immediately calls Billy to tell him they &ldquohave a problem.&rdquo

The next day, Jessica tries to share with her mother that she&rsquos decided she will not marry Billy as she is in love with Harland. Bunny explains that Harland &ldquoleft the night before in a hurry.&rdquo Jessica decides to go on a walk outside, and while she&rsquos gazing into the abyss looking forlorn, she overhears muffled screaming. What do you know &ndash it&rsquos Harland trapped in a basement-like room with tape over his mouth tied to a chair.

As I&rsquom sure you&rsquove guessed because this movie leaves nothing to the imagination, it was Billy and Bunny who captured Harland. Billy paces the room with a knife while Jessica watches on, doing seemingly nothing but is still terrified nonetheless. Bunny runs in and tells Billy to kill Harland, but Lee pops out of nowhere and whacks Billy over the head with the same broom that Bunny whacked him over the head with the day before.

Bunny gets knocked into a shelf.

Harland and Jessica reunite.

They get married one year later.

The movie ends on Bunny in &ldquoSerenity Falls Health and Wellness Center,&rdquo which appears to be an insane asylum. Billy comes to visit her. He&rsquos eating fried chicken.

We&rsquore left on a cliffhanger: &ldquoWell?&rdquo Bunny says to Billy. He responds, &ldquoI found them.&rdquo

I can&rsquot believe that I wrote a two-page synopsis about a 15-minute Lifetime movie that involved KFC. This is time that I can never get back.

Here are some worth-it (at least to me) holiday love stories to watch:

On Netflix:
&bull &ldquoDash & Lily&rdquo
&bull &ldquoHoliday in the Wild&rdquo
&bull &ldquoOperation Christmas Drop&rdquo
&bull &ldquoChristmas with a View&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby&rdquo


At Least KFC's Colonel Sanders Is Gay-Friendly - Recipes

Mario Lopez and Justine Alpert star in Lifetime’s “A Recipe for Seduction,” a love story surrounding KFC’s Colonel Sanders.
Photo Credit: Lifetime

What I&rsquom Watching: an unlikely suitor trying his hand &ndash but failing miserably &ndash at a Christmas love story.

On Lifetime/YouTube: &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction&rdquo

What on earth did I just watch?

Of course, I&rsquom not speechless for long. My instant reaction that I shared with my coworkers after watching Lifetime&rsquos new original mini&ndashmovie, &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo which is a collaboration with KFC (yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken,) was, &ldquoIf there is one piece of advice I could pass on to the younger generation, it would be to not watch this movie.&rdquo

Standard disclaimer: I am the biggest proponent for hokey Christmas love stories. There is nothing I enjoy more than a predictable, Hallmark-style holiday movie where two unsuspecting people have a meet-cute, fall in love absurdly fast, something happens that separates the two and makes them briefly dislike one another, and ends in engagement &ndash or better yet &ndash a wedding. These types of films are my kryptonite. This is my cross to bear.

With that said . I simply cannot get behind &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction.&rdquo

The short film premiered on Lifetime on Dec. 13, and was the subject of much discussion, as the film follows the love story of Colonel Harland Sanders (Mario Lopez) as he falls for newly-broke and freshly proposed to by another man Jessica Mancera (Justine Alpert). Following its premiere on Lifetime, the 15-minute mini movie was released to YouTube on KFC&rsquos page.

If readers truly feel like wasting 15 minutes of their lives and watching the movie, stop reading this review now, as I will be spoiling the entirety of the film. Come back after you&rsquove watched it, and I can almost guarantee that you won&rsquot disagree with my synopsis.

The film starts showing a gorgeous, mansion-style home complete with a fountain. We then pan into a dining room, complete with floor to ceiling stained glass windows, a stunning gold and crystal chandelier, a dining room table adorned with stately champagne flutes, gold plated china dishes, bottles of expensive wine and. a gold bowl filled with fried chicken.

Billy Garibaldi III (Chad Doreck) reveals himself to be Jessica&rsquos boyfriend, and at the dinner surrounded by her mother and her best friend Lee (Martin Mandela), Billy proposes. Instantly we can tell Jessica is uncomfortable with this. She notes that she&rsquos &ldquospeechless,&rdquo and asks Billy why he is putting her on the spot. She explains she needs time to think, and runs off from the dinner.

Presumably the next day, Jessica &ndash looking confused and defeated &ndash goes to chat with her mother Bunny (Tessa Munro). She explains that she does not want to marry Billy, however Bunny explains that Jessica &ldquohas to&rdquo marry Billy because the family has no money. Jessica&rsquos late father left them with nothing but bills, and they will lose their house in a month if she doesn&rsquot marry Billy and get his family money.

This is where I started to get really annoyed, because at the dinner the night prior, Bunny explained to everyone that the delicious fried chicken was the work of their &ldquonew chef,&rdquo which turns out to be &ndash you guessed it &ndash Colonel Harland Sanders. You&rsquore telling me that you&rsquore completely broke, but you hired a new live-in chef? Okay.

The most remarkable part about this mini movie is that it is less than 15 minutes long &ndash thank goodness &ndash because a minute more and I don&rsquot think I could&rsquove taken it. With that said, considering the film is only 15 minutes, this love story is expedited which makes it even more ridiculous than a love story about Colonel Sanders would normally be.

I think what sets me off the most is that in typical love story holiday films, we can see the characters falling in love. They&rsquore usually shown on a series of dates, or we can see them interacting in multiple scenarios where we see the pair have a connection. In &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo Jessica and Colonel Harland Sanders first lock eyes when Harland comes to share a menu with Bunny. The two have the most awkward eye contact I&rsquove ever seen &ndash which is supposed to portray love at first sight &ndash but just comes off strange and uncomfortable.

In the next scene, Jessica seeks out Harland and offers him a tour of the property, which Bunny disapprovingly watches from afar. On their short walk around the property, Jessica is sharing her confusion about her proposal to Billy with Harland. She realizes she&rsquos been dominating the conversation, so she asks Harland about himself. He responds that he doesn&rsquot have much to share, but he has a &ldquosecret recipe that&rsquos going to change the world.&rdquo That&rsquos the power of KFC, y&rsquoall. Changing the world, one drumstick at a time.

Billy shows up to the property and interrupts Jessica and Harland&rsquos chat by aggressively grabbing Jessica&rsquos arm and complaining that not only did she not accept his proposal, but now she was ignoring his calls. Harland interjects in an attempt to protect Jessica, and Billy calls Harland &ldquocrouton.&rdquo

The big line of the movie for Colonel Harland Sanders?

The movie continues on and essentially after Bunny overhears her daughter speaking with Lee &ndash sharing that she has fallen in love with the new chef &ndash Bunny takes matters into her own hands and seeks out Billy. Bunny shares with scorned Billy that she overheard Jessica is falling for Harland. Billy laughs in an over dramatic, terrible acting way. We then find out that evidently, Bunny and Billy had a &ldquolong weekend in the Vineyard&rdquo together, and she promises Billy that if he marries Jessica, there will be &ldquomore long weekends&rdquo for the two to spend with each other.

Oh, come on! Just when I thought it couldn&rsquot get worse, mom is sleeping with her daughter's boyfriend.

Unaware, Bunny does not realize that Lee was witness to her uncomfortable&ndashfor&ndashviewers conversation with Billy. Lee comes to tell Jessica of her mom's affair, at the same time, Billy finds Harland&rsquos secret chicken recipe and attempts to pay off Harland to disappear for $500,000. Bunny whacks Lee over the head with a broom and traps him somewhere to prevent him from sharing the secret.

Later, Jessica explains to Harland that she&rsquos in love with him &ndash despite the fact that it&rsquos been about 24 hours since they met &ndash and the two kiss. Bunny is witness to this intimate moment, and immediately calls Billy to tell him they &ldquohave a problem.&rdquo

The next day, Jessica tries to share with her mother that she&rsquos decided she will not marry Billy as she is in love with Harland. Bunny explains that Harland &ldquoleft the night before in a hurry.&rdquo Jessica decides to go on a walk outside, and while she&rsquos gazing into the abyss looking forlorn, she overhears muffled screaming. What do you know &ndash it&rsquos Harland trapped in a basement-like room with tape over his mouth tied to a chair.

As I&rsquom sure you&rsquove guessed because this movie leaves nothing to the imagination, it was Billy and Bunny who captured Harland. Billy paces the room with a knife while Jessica watches on, doing seemingly nothing but is still terrified nonetheless. Bunny runs in and tells Billy to kill Harland, but Lee pops out of nowhere and whacks Billy over the head with the same broom that Bunny whacked him over the head with the day before.

Bunny gets knocked into a shelf.

Harland and Jessica reunite.

They get married one year later.

The movie ends on Bunny in &ldquoSerenity Falls Health and Wellness Center,&rdquo which appears to be an insane asylum. Billy comes to visit her. He&rsquos eating fried chicken.

We&rsquore left on a cliffhanger: &ldquoWell?&rdquo Bunny says to Billy. He responds, &ldquoI found them.&rdquo

I can&rsquot believe that I wrote a two-page synopsis about a 15-minute Lifetime movie that involved KFC. This is time that I can never get back.

Here are some worth-it (at least to me) holiday love stories to watch:

On Netflix:
&bull &ldquoDash & Lily&rdquo
&bull &ldquoHoliday in the Wild&rdquo
&bull &ldquoOperation Christmas Drop&rdquo
&bull &ldquoChristmas with a View&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby&rdquo


At Least KFC's Colonel Sanders Is Gay-Friendly - Recipes

Mario Lopez and Justine Alpert star in Lifetime’s “A Recipe for Seduction,” a love story surrounding KFC’s Colonel Sanders.
Photo Credit: Lifetime

What I&rsquom Watching: an unlikely suitor trying his hand &ndash but failing miserably &ndash at a Christmas love story.

On Lifetime/YouTube: &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction&rdquo

What on earth did I just watch?

Of course, I&rsquom not speechless for long. My instant reaction that I shared with my coworkers after watching Lifetime&rsquos new original mini&ndashmovie, &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo which is a collaboration with KFC (yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken,) was, &ldquoIf there is one piece of advice I could pass on to the younger generation, it would be to not watch this movie.&rdquo

Standard disclaimer: I am the biggest proponent for hokey Christmas love stories. There is nothing I enjoy more than a predictable, Hallmark-style holiday movie where two unsuspecting people have a meet-cute, fall in love absurdly fast, something happens that separates the two and makes them briefly dislike one another, and ends in engagement &ndash or better yet &ndash a wedding. These types of films are my kryptonite. This is my cross to bear.

With that said . I simply cannot get behind &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction.&rdquo

The short film premiered on Lifetime on Dec. 13, and was the subject of much discussion, as the film follows the love story of Colonel Harland Sanders (Mario Lopez) as he falls for newly-broke and freshly proposed to by another man Jessica Mancera (Justine Alpert). Following its premiere on Lifetime, the 15-minute mini movie was released to YouTube on KFC&rsquos page.

If readers truly feel like wasting 15 minutes of their lives and watching the movie, stop reading this review now, as I will be spoiling the entirety of the film. Come back after you&rsquove watched it, and I can almost guarantee that you won&rsquot disagree with my synopsis.

The film starts showing a gorgeous, mansion-style home complete with a fountain. We then pan into a dining room, complete with floor to ceiling stained glass windows, a stunning gold and crystal chandelier, a dining room table adorned with stately champagne flutes, gold plated china dishes, bottles of expensive wine and. a gold bowl filled with fried chicken.

Billy Garibaldi III (Chad Doreck) reveals himself to be Jessica&rsquos boyfriend, and at the dinner surrounded by her mother and her best friend Lee (Martin Mandela), Billy proposes. Instantly we can tell Jessica is uncomfortable with this. She notes that she&rsquos &ldquospeechless,&rdquo and asks Billy why he is putting her on the spot. She explains she needs time to think, and runs off from the dinner.

Presumably the next day, Jessica &ndash looking confused and defeated &ndash goes to chat with her mother Bunny (Tessa Munro). She explains that she does not want to marry Billy, however Bunny explains that Jessica &ldquohas to&rdquo marry Billy because the family has no money. Jessica&rsquos late father left them with nothing but bills, and they will lose their house in a month if she doesn&rsquot marry Billy and get his family money.

This is where I started to get really annoyed, because at the dinner the night prior, Bunny explained to everyone that the delicious fried chicken was the work of their &ldquonew chef,&rdquo which turns out to be &ndash you guessed it &ndash Colonel Harland Sanders. You&rsquore telling me that you&rsquore completely broke, but you hired a new live-in chef? Okay.

The most remarkable part about this mini movie is that it is less than 15 minutes long &ndash thank goodness &ndash because a minute more and I don&rsquot think I could&rsquove taken it. With that said, considering the film is only 15 minutes, this love story is expedited which makes it even more ridiculous than a love story about Colonel Sanders would normally be.

I think what sets me off the most is that in typical love story holiday films, we can see the characters falling in love. They&rsquore usually shown on a series of dates, or we can see them interacting in multiple scenarios where we see the pair have a connection. In &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo Jessica and Colonel Harland Sanders first lock eyes when Harland comes to share a menu with Bunny. The two have the most awkward eye contact I&rsquove ever seen &ndash which is supposed to portray love at first sight &ndash but just comes off strange and uncomfortable.

In the next scene, Jessica seeks out Harland and offers him a tour of the property, which Bunny disapprovingly watches from afar. On their short walk around the property, Jessica is sharing her confusion about her proposal to Billy with Harland. She realizes she&rsquos been dominating the conversation, so she asks Harland about himself. He responds that he doesn&rsquot have much to share, but he has a &ldquosecret recipe that&rsquos going to change the world.&rdquo That&rsquos the power of KFC, y&rsquoall. Changing the world, one drumstick at a time.

Billy shows up to the property and interrupts Jessica and Harland&rsquos chat by aggressively grabbing Jessica&rsquos arm and complaining that not only did she not accept his proposal, but now she was ignoring his calls. Harland interjects in an attempt to protect Jessica, and Billy calls Harland &ldquocrouton.&rdquo

The big line of the movie for Colonel Harland Sanders?

The movie continues on and essentially after Bunny overhears her daughter speaking with Lee &ndash sharing that she has fallen in love with the new chef &ndash Bunny takes matters into her own hands and seeks out Billy. Bunny shares with scorned Billy that she overheard Jessica is falling for Harland. Billy laughs in an over dramatic, terrible acting way. We then find out that evidently, Bunny and Billy had a &ldquolong weekend in the Vineyard&rdquo together, and she promises Billy that if he marries Jessica, there will be &ldquomore long weekends&rdquo for the two to spend with each other.

Oh, come on! Just when I thought it couldn&rsquot get worse, mom is sleeping with her daughter's boyfriend.

Unaware, Bunny does not realize that Lee was witness to her uncomfortable&ndashfor&ndashviewers conversation with Billy. Lee comes to tell Jessica of her mom's affair, at the same time, Billy finds Harland&rsquos secret chicken recipe and attempts to pay off Harland to disappear for $500,000. Bunny whacks Lee over the head with a broom and traps him somewhere to prevent him from sharing the secret.

Later, Jessica explains to Harland that she&rsquos in love with him &ndash despite the fact that it&rsquos been about 24 hours since they met &ndash and the two kiss. Bunny is witness to this intimate moment, and immediately calls Billy to tell him they &ldquohave a problem.&rdquo

The next day, Jessica tries to share with her mother that she&rsquos decided she will not marry Billy as she is in love with Harland. Bunny explains that Harland &ldquoleft the night before in a hurry.&rdquo Jessica decides to go on a walk outside, and while she&rsquos gazing into the abyss looking forlorn, she overhears muffled screaming. What do you know &ndash it&rsquos Harland trapped in a basement-like room with tape over his mouth tied to a chair.

As I&rsquom sure you&rsquove guessed because this movie leaves nothing to the imagination, it was Billy and Bunny who captured Harland. Billy paces the room with a knife while Jessica watches on, doing seemingly nothing but is still terrified nonetheless. Bunny runs in and tells Billy to kill Harland, but Lee pops out of nowhere and whacks Billy over the head with the same broom that Bunny whacked him over the head with the day before.

Bunny gets knocked into a shelf.

Harland and Jessica reunite.

They get married one year later.

The movie ends on Bunny in &ldquoSerenity Falls Health and Wellness Center,&rdquo which appears to be an insane asylum. Billy comes to visit her. He&rsquos eating fried chicken.

We&rsquore left on a cliffhanger: &ldquoWell?&rdquo Bunny says to Billy. He responds, &ldquoI found them.&rdquo

I can&rsquot believe that I wrote a two-page synopsis about a 15-minute Lifetime movie that involved KFC. This is time that I can never get back.

Here are some worth-it (at least to me) holiday love stories to watch:

On Netflix:
&bull &ldquoDash & Lily&rdquo
&bull &ldquoHoliday in the Wild&rdquo
&bull &ldquoOperation Christmas Drop&rdquo
&bull &ldquoChristmas with a View&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby&rdquo


At Least KFC's Colonel Sanders Is Gay-Friendly - Recipes

Mario Lopez and Justine Alpert star in Lifetime’s “A Recipe for Seduction,” a love story surrounding KFC’s Colonel Sanders.
Photo Credit: Lifetime

What I&rsquom Watching: an unlikely suitor trying his hand &ndash but failing miserably &ndash at a Christmas love story.

On Lifetime/YouTube: &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction&rdquo

What on earth did I just watch?

Of course, I&rsquom not speechless for long. My instant reaction that I shared with my coworkers after watching Lifetime&rsquos new original mini&ndashmovie, &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo which is a collaboration with KFC (yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken,) was, &ldquoIf there is one piece of advice I could pass on to the younger generation, it would be to not watch this movie.&rdquo

Standard disclaimer: I am the biggest proponent for hokey Christmas love stories. There is nothing I enjoy more than a predictable, Hallmark-style holiday movie where two unsuspecting people have a meet-cute, fall in love absurdly fast, something happens that separates the two and makes them briefly dislike one another, and ends in engagement &ndash or better yet &ndash a wedding. These types of films are my kryptonite. This is my cross to bear.

With that said . I simply cannot get behind &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction.&rdquo

The short film premiered on Lifetime on Dec. 13, and was the subject of much discussion, as the film follows the love story of Colonel Harland Sanders (Mario Lopez) as he falls for newly-broke and freshly proposed to by another man Jessica Mancera (Justine Alpert). Following its premiere on Lifetime, the 15-minute mini movie was released to YouTube on KFC&rsquos page.

If readers truly feel like wasting 15 minutes of their lives and watching the movie, stop reading this review now, as I will be spoiling the entirety of the film. Come back after you&rsquove watched it, and I can almost guarantee that you won&rsquot disagree with my synopsis.

The film starts showing a gorgeous, mansion-style home complete with a fountain. We then pan into a dining room, complete with floor to ceiling stained glass windows, a stunning gold and crystal chandelier, a dining room table adorned with stately champagne flutes, gold plated china dishes, bottles of expensive wine and. a gold bowl filled with fried chicken.

Billy Garibaldi III (Chad Doreck) reveals himself to be Jessica&rsquos boyfriend, and at the dinner surrounded by her mother and her best friend Lee (Martin Mandela), Billy proposes. Instantly we can tell Jessica is uncomfortable with this. She notes that she&rsquos &ldquospeechless,&rdquo and asks Billy why he is putting her on the spot. She explains she needs time to think, and runs off from the dinner.

Presumably the next day, Jessica &ndash looking confused and defeated &ndash goes to chat with her mother Bunny (Tessa Munro). She explains that she does not want to marry Billy, however Bunny explains that Jessica &ldquohas to&rdquo marry Billy because the family has no money. Jessica&rsquos late father left them with nothing but bills, and they will lose their house in a month if she doesn&rsquot marry Billy and get his family money.

This is where I started to get really annoyed, because at the dinner the night prior, Bunny explained to everyone that the delicious fried chicken was the work of their &ldquonew chef,&rdquo which turns out to be &ndash you guessed it &ndash Colonel Harland Sanders. You&rsquore telling me that you&rsquore completely broke, but you hired a new live-in chef? Okay.

The most remarkable part about this mini movie is that it is less than 15 minutes long &ndash thank goodness &ndash because a minute more and I don&rsquot think I could&rsquove taken it. With that said, considering the film is only 15 minutes, this love story is expedited which makes it even more ridiculous than a love story about Colonel Sanders would normally be.

I think what sets me off the most is that in typical love story holiday films, we can see the characters falling in love. They&rsquore usually shown on a series of dates, or we can see them interacting in multiple scenarios where we see the pair have a connection. In &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo Jessica and Colonel Harland Sanders first lock eyes when Harland comes to share a menu with Bunny. The two have the most awkward eye contact I&rsquove ever seen &ndash which is supposed to portray love at first sight &ndash but just comes off strange and uncomfortable.

In the next scene, Jessica seeks out Harland and offers him a tour of the property, which Bunny disapprovingly watches from afar. On their short walk around the property, Jessica is sharing her confusion about her proposal to Billy with Harland. She realizes she&rsquos been dominating the conversation, so she asks Harland about himself. He responds that he doesn&rsquot have much to share, but he has a &ldquosecret recipe that&rsquos going to change the world.&rdquo That&rsquos the power of KFC, y&rsquoall. Changing the world, one drumstick at a time.

Billy shows up to the property and interrupts Jessica and Harland&rsquos chat by aggressively grabbing Jessica&rsquos arm and complaining that not only did she not accept his proposal, but now she was ignoring his calls. Harland interjects in an attempt to protect Jessica, and Billy calls Harland &ldquocrouton.&rdquo

The big line of the movie for Colonel Harland Sanders?

The movie continues on and essentially after Bunny overhears her daughter speaking with Lee &ndash sharing that she has fallen in love with the new chef &ndash Bunny takes matters into her own hands and seeks out Billy. Bunny shares with scorned Billy that she overheard Jessica is falling for Harland. Billy laughs in an over dramatic, terrible acting way. We then find out that evidently, Bunny and Billy had a &ldquolong weekend in the Vineyard&rdquo together, and she promises Billy that if he marries Jessica, there will be &ldquomore long weekends&rdquo for the two to spend with each other.

Oh, come on! Just when I thought it couldn&rsquot get worse, mom is sleeping with her daughter's boyfriend.

Unaware, Bunny does not realize that Lee was witness to her uncomfortable&ndashfor&ndashviewers conversation with Billy. Lee comes to tell Jessica of her mom's affair, at the same time, Billy finds Harland&rsquos secret chicken recipe and attempts to pay off Harland to disappear for $500,000. Bunny whacks Lee over the head with a broom and traps him somewhere to prevent him from sharing the secret.

Later, Jessica explains to Harland that she&rsquos in love with him &ndash despite the fact that it&rsquos been about 24 hours since they met &ndash and the two kiss. Bunny is witness to this intimate moment, and immediately calls Billy to tell him they &ldquohave a problem.&rdquo

The next day, Jessica tries to share with her mother that she&rsquos decided she will not marry Billy as she is in love with Harland. Bunny explains that Harland &ldquoleft the night before in a hurry.&rdquo Jessica decides to go on a walk outside, and while she&rsquos gazing into the abyss looking forlorn, she overhears muffled screaming. What do you know &ndash it&rsquos Harland trapped in a basement-like room with tape over his mouth tied to a chair.

As I&rsquom sure you&rsquove guessed because this movie leaves nothing to the imagination, it was Billy and Bunny who captured Harland. Billy paces the room with a knife while Jessica watches on, doing seemingly nothing but is still terrified nonetheless. Bunny runs in and tells Billy to kill Harland, but Lee pops out of nowhere and whacks Billy over the head with the same broom that Bunny whacked him over the head with the day before.

Bunny gets knocked into a shelf.

Harland and Jessica reunite.

They get married one year later.

The movie ends on Bunny in &ldquoSerenity Falls Health and Wellness Center,&rdquo which appears to be an insane asylum. Billy comes to visit her. He&rsquos eating fried chicken.

We&rsquore left on a cliffhanger: &ldquoWell?&rdquo Bunny says to Billy. He responds, &ldquoI found them.&rdquo

I can&rsquot believe that I wrote a two-page synopsis about a 15-minute Lifetime movie that involved KFC. This is time that I can never get back.

Here are some worth-it (at least to me) holiday love stories to watch:

On Netflix:
&bull &ldquoDash & Lily&rdquo
&bull &ldquoHoliday in the Wild&rdquo
&bull &ldquoOperation Christmas Drop&rdquo
&bull &ldquoChristmas with a View&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby&rdquo


At Least KFC's Colonel Sanders Is Gay-Friendly - Recipes

Mario Lopez and Justine Alpert star in Lifetime’s “A Recipe for Seduction,” a love story surrounding KFC’s Colonel Sanders.
Photo Credit: Lifetime

What I&rsquom Watching: an unlikely suitor trying his hand &ndash but failing miserably &ndash at a Christmas love story.

On Lifetime/YouTube: &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction&rdquo

What on earth did I just watch?

Of course, I&rsquom not speechless for long. My instant reaction that I shared with my coworkers after watching Lifetime&rsquos new original mini&ndashmovie, &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo which is a collaboration with KFC (yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken,) was, &ldquoIf there is one piece of advice I could pass on to the younger generation, it would be to not watch this movie.&rdquo

Standard disclaimer: I am the biggest proponent for hokey Christmas love stories. There is nothing I enjoy more than a predictable, Hallmark-style holiday movie where two unsuspecting people have a meet-cute, fall in love absurdly fast, something happens that separates the two and makes them briefly dislike one another, and ends in engagement &ndash or better yet &ndash a wedding. These types of films are my kryptonite. This is my cross to bear.

With that said . I simply cannot get behind &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction.&rdquo

The short film premiered on Lifetime on Dec. 13, and was the subject of much discussion, as the film follows the love story of Colonel Harland Sanders (Mario Lopez) as he falls for newly-broke and freshly proposed to by another man Jessica Mancera (Justine Alpert). Following its premiere on Lifetime, the 15-minute mini movie was released to YouTube on KFC&rsquos page.

If readers truly feel like wasting 15 minutes of their lives and watching the movie, stop reading this review now, as I will be spoiling the entirety of the film. Come back after you&rsquove watched it, and I can almost guarantee that you won&rsquot disagree with my synopsis.

The film starts showing a gorgeous, mansion-style home complete with a fountain. We then pan into a dining room, complete with floor to ceiling stained glass windows, a stunning gold and crystal chandelier, a dining room table adorned with stately champagne flutes, gold plated china dishes, bottles of expensive wine and. a gold bowl filled with fried chicken.

Billy Garibaldi III (Chad Doreck) reveals himself to be Jessica&rsquos boyfriend, and at the dinner surrounded by her mother and her best friend Lee (Martin Mandela), Billy proposes. Instantly we can tell Jessica is uncomfortable with this. She notes that she&rsquos &ldquospeechless,&rdquo and asks Billy why he is putting her on the spot. She explains she needs time to think, and runs off from the dinner.

Presumably the next day, Jessica &ndash looking confused and defeated &ndash goes to chat with her mother Bunny (Tessa Munro). She explains that she does not want to marry Billy, however Bunny explains that Jessica &ldquohas to&rdquo marry Billy because the family has no money. Jessica&rsquos late father left them with nothing but bills, and they will lose their house in a month if she doesn&rsquot marry Billy and get his family money.

This is where I started to get really annoyed, because at the dinner the night prior, Bunny explained to everyone that the delicious fried chicken was the work of their &ldquonew chef,&rdquo which turns out to be &ndash you guessed it &ndash Colonel Harland Sanders. You&rsquore telling me that you&rsquore completely broke, but you hired a new live-in chef? Okay.

The most remarkable part about this mini movie is that it is less than 15 minutes long &ndash thank goodness &ndash because a minute more and I don&rsquot think I could&rsquove taken it. With that said, considering the film is only 15 minutes, this love story is expedited which makes it even more ridiculous than a love story about Colonel Sanders would normally be.

I think what sets me off the most is that in typical love story holiday films, we can see the characters falling in love. They&rsquore usually shown on a series of dates, or we can see them interacting in multiple scenarios where we see the pair have a connection. In &ldquoA Recipe for Seduction,&rdquo Jessica and Colonel Harland Sanders first lock eyes when Harland comes to share a menu with Bunny. The two have the most awkward eye contact I&rsquove ever seen &ndash which is supposed to portray love at first sight &ndash but just comes off strange and uncomfortable.

In the next scene, Jessica seeks out Harland and offers him a tour of the property, which Bunny disapprovingly watches from afar. On their short walk around the property, Jessica is sharing her confusion about her proposal to Billy with Harland. She realizes she&rsquos been dominating the conversation, so she asks Harland about himself. He responds that he doesn&rsquot have much to share, but he has a &ldquosecret recipe that&rsquos going to change the world.&rdquo That&rsquos the power of KFC, y&rsquoall. Changing the world, one drumstick at a time.

Billy shows up to the property and interrupts Jessica and Harland&rsquos chat by aggressively grabbing Jessica&rsquos arm and complaining that not only did she not accept his proposal, but now she was ignoring his calls. Harland interjects in an attempt to protect Jessica, and Billy calls Harland &ldquocrouton.&rdquo

The big line of the movie for Colonel Harland Sanders?

The movie continues on and essentially after Bunny overhears her daughter speaking with Lee &ndash sharing that she has fallen in love with the new chef &ndash Bunny takes matters into her own hands and seeks out Billy. Bunny shares with scorned Billy that she overheard Jessica is falling for Harland. Billy laughs in an over dramatic, terrible acting way. We then find out that evidently, Bunny and Billy had a &ldquolong weekend in the Vineyard&rdquo together, and she promises Billy that if he marries Jessica, there will be &ldquomore long weekends&rdquo for the two to spend with each other.

Oh, come on! Just when I thought it couldn&rsquot get worse, mom is sleeping with her daughter's boyfriend.

Unaware, Bunny does not realize that Lee was witness to her uncomfortable&ndashfor&ndashviewers conversation with Billy. Lee comes to tell Jessica of her mom's affair, at the same time, Billy finds Harland&rsquos secret chicken recipe and attempts to pay off Harland to disappear for $500,000. Bunny whacks Lee over the head with a broom and traps him somewhere to prevent him from sharing the secret.

Later, Jessica explains to Harland that she&rsquos in love with him &ndash despite the fact that it&rsquos been about 24 hours since they met &ndash and the two kiss. Bunny is witness to this intimate moment, and immediately calls Billy to tell him they &ldquohave a problem.&rdquo

The next day, Jessica tries to share with her mother that she&rsquos decided she will not marry Billy as she is in love with Harland. Bunny explains that Harland &ldquoleft the night before in a hurry.&rdquo Jessica decides to go on a walk outside, and while she&rsquos gazing into the abyss looking forlorn, she overhears muffled screaming. What do you know &ndash it&rsquos Harland trapped in a basement-like room with tape over his mouth tied to a chair.

As I&rsquom sure you&rsquove guessed because this movie leaves nothing to the imagination, it was Billy and Bunny who captured Harland. Billy paces the room with a knife while Jessica watches on, doing seemingly nothing but is still terrified nonetheless. Bunny runs in and tells Billy to kill Harland, but Lee pops out of nowhere and whacks Billy over the head with the same broom that Bunny whacked him over the head with the day before.

Bunny gets knocked into a shelf.

Harland and Jessica reunite.

They get married one year later.

The movie ends on Bunny in &ldquoSerenity Falls Health and Wellness Center,&rdquo which appears to be an insane asylum. Billy comes to visit her. He&rsquos eating fried chicken.

We&rsquore left on a cliffhanger: &ldquoWell?&rdquo Bunny says to Billy. He responds, &ldquoI found them.&rdquo

I can&rsquot believe that I wrote a two-page synopsis about a 15-minute Lifetime movie that involved KFC. This is time that I can never get back.

Here are some worth-it (at least to me) holiday love stories to watch:

On Netflix:
&bull &ldquoDash & Lily&rdquo
&bull &ldquoHoliday in the Wild&rdquo
&bull &ldquoOperation Christmas Drop&rdquo
&bull &ldquoChristmas with a View&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding&rdquo
&bull &ldquoA Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby&rdquo


Watch the video: I Was the Next Colonel Sanders. KFC Had Other Plans. Almost Famous by Op-Docs (June 2022).